I occasionally tune into “Keeping up with the Kardashians.” I don’t watch it that often or I start thinking that I need a diet pill and major plastic surgery.

I was amazed and terrified on a recent episode. Khloe had no reason to be suspicious of her basketball player boyfriend. Kim wanted to get to know him better so she broke into his voicemail. Kim said she was the spy of the family. Khloe got into his facebook account later that night. They found out that he was cheating on her. I’m now terrified of the Kardashians. Who breaks into other people’s voicemails on a whim?

Ramona from The Real Housewives of New York City is something else. She always gets in these feuds with everyone and then just shrugs it off later and tries to look cute. She says she didn’t mean whatever awful thing the cameras caught and she was just hungry.

The one thing that Ramona takes deep offensive to is when people tells her she has crazy eyes. If you say that she will call your husband old and start screaming. Her eyes do bug out a lot and look empty. Of all the things to pick on someone about I wouldn’t think that the eyes would have it, but they do. So that’s my life lesson for today, if you run into Ramona don’t comment on her eyes.

I never thought that I’d want to be friends with one of the Real Housewives of New York City. For friends, or even pseudo friends, they fight a lot. They are fun to watch but I’ve never felt the need to actually be around them…until now. I just moved to a new place and I just want to scream “Jilll I need help!” Granted, I don’t live in New York City.

Bobby Zarin always says that his wife is a connector. I just wish that she’d take me under her wing and show me around the town. Tell me where to buy furniture and who to take my car to. (Not that I could afford her tastes). I bet Jill would know who is a good dentist and everyone else who has a healthcare career. She’s one of those people who knows someone that can fix any problem.